Having been crafted by a lineal descendent of the famous Bearmaker Katz of Bern (the latter responsible for the creation of the legendary Twisted Teddy held dear by King Ludwig of Bearvaria), the bear of our fable was named Hermes, for he was a most magical fellow. Following the birth of this Twisted Teddy, the Bern artist, hailing from that city named for its Bears, sent little Hermes to boarding school in Bearvaria, wishing his most special son to learn all the mystical secrets of that realm.

Hermes grew and flourished, most content to abide in the happy homeland of his ancestors. Yet, one day, an ominous messenger hawk from Bern arrived, carrying an urgent message from the Bearmaker Katz: My dearest, furry and not forgotten son, please return to Bern as I am in urgent need of your magical skills. Papa Katz.

Because all Twisted Teddies are imbued with an unfailing sense of honor, a secret soul given them by the ancient Bern Bear Spirits, Hermes did not delay in coming to the aid of his Papa; tragically, it seemed, a most dire circumstance awaited him ~ poachers had taken the Bearmaker captive, forged a note from the desperate father to the most magical bear in the world, and sent a renegade falcon to make its delivery. Once captured, these evil men forced poor Hermes into a ridiculous suit of plaid pantaloons topped with a fur-trimmed red velvet coat, stuffed him into an uncomfortable crate and sent him far away to a place called America ... for it was the Christmas Season and the Bearmaker Katz's bears fetched a very high price on the Black Forest Illicit Bear Trading Post Market.

All was not lost, for the Fates were kind and winged young Hermes to the home of romance novelist, Posh Peyton and her husband, the latter another lineal descendent of the original Bearmaker Katz of Bern. On Christmas morn, after having secretly been admired by Posh and all her society girlfriends for weeks (much to his dismay), kept from the prying eyes of the Peyton's little girl, Olivia, Hermes was presented with pride beneath the Christmas tree, a decorated fir whose pungent scent made him long all the more for the fragrant breezes of his homeland, Bearvaria.

The very moment the curious child was ceremoniously handed her gift, she screamed, causing Hermes to smile just a tad. "Aha, I scared the little wretch," he mused. "Back to Bearvaria for me, naughty Teddy." Instead, Miss Olivia began divesting the alchemist of his jacket and plaid pantaloons - "How stupid" - she muttered, all amidst her mother's protests - "Do you have any idea how much that bear cost, young lady?" - and her father's chuckles - "Good show, old girl, strip him down to his furry knickers!" - and Hermes' own shocked amazement!

"Put those pantaloons back on your teddy, this instant!" Posh demanded in a snit, causing her daughter to retort, "NO. This is a very special bear and he needs no silly dresses ~ in fact, I am taking him upstairs to put him to bed for he is very tired and confused and needs to rest." Whereupon the saucy lass kept her promise, placing Hermes atop her own downy pillows, petting him gently and promising the poor, Twisted Teddy that when she was a grown up, she would return him to Bearvaria where he would rule as Thrice-Great Hermes, the most magical of bears. Then Olivia read her honored guest a sad poem called Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, the two shared a good cry, and both drifted off to dream of berry bushes and dark, forest glens.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the Peyton den, Posh could only remark to her husband, "Well, this is all your fault, you know ~ she gets that bad, Bern bear blood from you! I should never have bought her anything from that troublemaker Katz family ~ what a mistake ~ now she'll never be a romance novelist, like myself, I know it!"

And Professor Peyton only smiled, nodded and drew on his pipe, rather proud of his own furry creation napping upstairs.