The Cybersybils present Enter the Jackalope

"What did you do now?" Maddie muttered, sitting down. "And why are you smoking? Why, you've encouraged that man over there to light a cigarette...ooh, so much smoke!"

"Sorry," Olivia grinned, flinging the mag at her associate. "Meet Juan Carlos the Jackalope...who is this guy, anyway?"

"Oh my! Juan Carlos the JACKAL?" the Belgian exclaimed, staring at the photo in shock. "Do you know how long I have been on his trail, Olivia? Why, Juan Carlos is the premier assassin in Europe - perhaps the world! You didn't insult him, did you?"

"Cool your jets, I took the mag from some hags who were salivating over the jackass, I mean jackal. Now really, Waffles...this dude is a bona fide Jason Bourne? I don't buy it."

"Shhh, Olivia, I am telling you, Juan Carlos is not only a killer, he is...well, extremely dangerous in other ways, too. Women flock to him not only because he's mysterious, rumor also has it that he's a master of the ancient Tantric arts."

"Garçon, vin rouge, s'il-vous plaît," Olivia requested. "Bedroom arts, eh? Let me guess...he bores his girlfriends to death, perchance?"

"How droll," the newly christened Waffles coughed as she spoke, annoyed by the strong tobacco fumes. "Juan Carlos has been married fifteen times, it's true..."

"What? Fifteen wives! That's a lot of backside, even for a jackASS!"

"Juan Carlos has led a very tragic life, smart ass. His first love, Juanita, was a childhood sweetheart whom he married when the two young lovers turned eighteen about sixteen years ago. Their union would have proved perfect, a match made in Heaven, however..." Maddie stopped short, her voice choked with emotion.

"However what? Juanita caught her Juan jack-eloping with a milkmaid?"

"No, Juanita's evil, young stepmother Mercedes, who had first seduced Juan Carlos after getting his rich father-in-law in the sack, was jealous of the couple's happiness. Soon after her adopted daughter's wedding, the bitch went into the neighboring wood and picked some poisonous mushrooms, slipping them to Juanita at a dinner party. The poor bride expired immediately, at the table, dying in her new husband's arms. Mercedes went next, and not naturally, I might add."

Olivia stared in disbelief while Waffles semi-wept, then hastily poured two more glasses of wine.

"This is all true? And the Jackal is really a gun-for-hire who killed his own lover-stepmother-in-law? Wow, that's f'd up. And also sounds pretty sketch to me..."

"Why would I lie? Of course he's an assassin. And hot."

"No, Maddie, he's a jerk, trust my gut on this one."

"Do I have to be the only one with a brain around here?" Waffles retorted. "Don't you see that by finding that magazine, it's a sign, a portent, that YOU are meant to find Juan Carlos, to restore his faith in humanity..."

"Whoa, girl, do you hear yourself? Have another drink, cuz I ain't hookin' up with Mr. Jackal Jack-Off, evah..."

"Fine, be that way, be stubborn. Such a typical Taurus..."

"Yeah, like you aren't a typical Leo...your hair is messed up in the back, right there."

One hand flew to a purse for a compact, while the other left the wine glass to play with a perfectly coiffed up-do.

"See? You are SO frigging vain about your mane," Olivia taunted, dragging on a cig. "It's positively pathetic...we could have fed a third world country by now with the money you waste on designer hair care."

"At least I don't smoke and swear," Maddie complained before being interrupted by the gentleman from the corner, who had sashayed over to the Cybersybils' table.

"How about some company, ladies? I'm Lexi Graham...all my friends at Vogue, and positively everyone back in South Beach, call me Sexi for short...and dot that "i" with a star, please!"

"Sure, I knew that, now...grab a seat," Miss O teased. "This is the incomparable Ms. Waffles and I'm Pain Perdu Peyton. Now, you wouldn't be the famed designer of such cutting-edge fashion collections as Debbie Does Dungeons, would you?"

"YES...that's moi and I'm coming out this Spring with my latest work of inspired genius...sshhh, don't tell a soul...Crazy Corset Queens...what do you think?"

"Sounds like you've got that one all wrapped-up," Olivia replied. "You know, Waisted might be a better name!"

"Olivia Primrose!" Maddie admonished, "Monsieur Graham is a serious fashion pioneer, and NOT somebody with whom to be trifled."

"WRONG...I simply adore trifling...not to mention truffling...don't you just love white truffle oil poured all over...so, just what are you two lovelies doing in Gisors?"

"Well, I suppose we could tell you," Olivia yawned, rather worn out from an afternoon of jackass stories. "Heard of this fella, Sexi with a Star Stuff?" and she casually pointed to the half-crumpled copy of Match.