The following transcript was recorded on the Spring Equinox, 2002...


ET: Good morning, Mr. Thicke, thank you for returning my urgent phone call. As the worldwide authority on alien behaviour, would you mind explaining the different breeds of extraterrestrials?

DT: Why, thank you for the compliment, Ms. Estella, and yes, I'd be more than happy to give you a run-down. Firstly, be on the look-out for the Greys. Also, don't forget the Adopted Greys of Beta Molecular Star Systems A, B and C.

ET: Right, I knew about them.

DT: Good. Then there's the Boglodytes....

ET: Yes! They live in caves, right?

DT: Right on the money, Ms. Estella. But have you ever seen a Crinkly Flake?

ET: As in the Cadbury chocolate bar, Mr. Thicke?

DT: No, no, how funny. As in the cuddly, lavender alien with the elfish grin.

ET: That sounds like Vector, my gargoyle!

DT: Moving right along, don't forget the Big Blondes...

ET: Like me?

DT: No...taller, very tall, and not so wide...very Germanic. Rather like the Tall Droids, really.

ET: Ah, the ones in aluminium suits!

DT: Precisely. Now, above all others, be on guard against the Annunaki."

ET: Okay, they're the meanies, right?

DT: Exactly. Many world leaders are agents of the perfidious Annunaki and have been endowed with their masters' shape-shifting qualities, as a result of this misguided loyalty.

ET: Yes, I did know that. The situation, on a global scale, is serious indeed. And to think, I almost married a shape-shifting, reptilian royal! Ah...so, who else?

DT: The Elderberries, most definitely. Interdimensional Yeti, those folk. Aligned with many primitive pre-Columbian cultures.

ET: Now Derrick, these alien races are involved in constant power struggles, are they not?

DT: Yes. Very beligerent buggers. Always battling for control of the fifteen dimensional portals. One is in Jerusalem. Another is in Tibet. Nobody knows where the other thirteen are located.

ET: I do. One gateway is most certainly situated at Rennes-le-Château in France, home of the Green Ray and the Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Egyptian. We have to go there and realign the planet, Derrick! Don't you see?

DT: Yes, what a great thought! If we combine our forces, Ms. Estella, perhaps we might create a miracle and save the planet from reptilian domination?


Dear readers, the time for action is now! All responsible citizens of planet Earth are urged to join Derrick and myself in our Crusade against the crocodiles in our midst..sign your check now and prepare for battle. See you soon in Rennes-le-Château, home of the Emerald Grail that will prove our salvation.

Coming soon...The Dragon Discussion Forum...